My mentor and my friend, Tuck Self, who in her own words describes herself as “a bold southern voice”, and has a passion for the subject of BG5-Human Design, advised me to write a Valentine to myself. So I did. I think I will now create myself a Valentine every year. I have shared it with you below. And though it may be a little intense, a little vulnerable, it is authentic. How else could I write when I am writing to me?

Queen Joan the Beautiful! Will you be my Valentine?

So asks the tiny toddler, Joan. Because when I was just three years young I had already learned that I really didn’t feel like I was that important. No one really listened to me, much less even asked my thoughts. But you Queen Joan, you see me as a beautiful child of God, helping me feel that I matter. You listen to me as if I am totally delightful.

Queen Joan the Beautiful! Will you be my Valentine?

So asks the ten year young Joan growing up as a tomboy with only brothers for siblings. And my brothers were faithful and did the best they could do. But I felt the loneliness. Yet you Queen Joan, hug me up and hold me close, telling me how special I am. You make me smile. You make me feel loved.

Queen Joan the Beautiful! Will you be my Valentine?

So asks teenage Joan whose whole world is changing, filled with hormones and questions, and no one really taking her hand and showing her the way or giving many answers. But you Queen Joan look at me like I am a piece of fantastic dynamite. You see me, how fun I am. How much energy I have and how smart I am. So much so I am beginning to believe it myself.

Queen Joan the Beautiful! Will you be my Valentine?

So asks Joan, the young woman in her twenties who already is in her second marriage and raising two children with little support from a spouse. I feel so lost and alone and ashamed. But you Queen Joan take my hand and tell me I am beautiful and strong and how absolutely amazing I am. And suddenly I can slowly see myself the way you see me now. And I am coming to understand I am truly incredible.

Queen Joan the Beautiful! Will you be my Valentine?

So asks the woman who is in her fifties, the fifth decade for Joan. Who has lost so much, knows grief so well, and feels at times she stands alone. But you Queen Joan help me understand I am never alone and have never been alone. You teach me how I have learned to be happy and have carried that happiness within me. That it is a choice. I am knowing now that life is Good, and you tell me how proud you are of me.

Queen Joan the Beautiful! Will you be my Valentine?

So asks Joan of today, 68 years young and an unstoppable Force. Who is in love with Life and understands Life is in love with her. I embrace all of my history, all my old selves, and hug them up with ferocious love and acceptance, healing old wounds and kissing away the tears. I am who I am today because of their courage, determination, and joy.

So, yes, I am Queen Joan the Beautiful and I have become my own Valentine!

The poet Derek Walcott advises in his poem “Love After Love”, to “love again the stranger who was yourself… who knows you by heart.” So I hope you choose to create yourself a Valentine. Make it funny, make it loving, make it short, or make it long. But I hope you write at least these three words: I love you. Because the whole world changes when we truly love ourselves. And within that love grows confidence and kindness, and the power to change the world.

c   Love, Joan