Don’t you hate it? That feeling of not really knowing what to do, your brain in overload, thinking, thinking, waffling up and down, not able to make a solid decision. Who needs that? And doubt can always bring some other nasty feelings we don’t like: fear, confusion, wanting to control, worry, anxiety.

I think there are several questions to think about that can help us overcome our doubts.

Do we have a history of someone in our past convincing us that we are really not very smart? Or maybe we had great ideas and insights but no one took the time to listen to us. Perhaps we have memories of someone ridiculing us or showing anger when we made a decision and we still remember feeling so embarrassed, so incompetent. Or oh, God forbid, (gasp!) a failure! We can really beat up on ourselves so easily sometimes.

But let’s look at ourselves. Why do we hold past experiences so close to our heart and still believe such nonsense? Just because someone says something does not mean it is true. We all weave our own story, and I am sure many of us know people who tell tall tales about their own lives all the time. As a hospice nurse I was constantly around families. Distorted thinking showed up often, sometimes with more than one family member, because again, we are all weaving our own story. So do we really need to believe everything someone says? I think as children we are masters of discernment of whether people are authentic or not. When do we lose this discernment? And let’s take it up a notch: Do we really need to believe everything our own minds try to make us believe?

When I have a decision to make I try to obtain more information. The bigger the decision, well, I probably need lots of information. I may want to choose to take my time, pause, take a breath. Or I may need to take a prayer walk and decide later. I definitely want to make it a habit of talking to someone I trust about the topic. Get proactive. Be open and LISTEN. Practice this often. And no longer accept that what you have to say is not important. Talking helps get that “squirrel cage” in your mind to calm down and quit going around and around, like a painted pony on a carousel.

Doubt can be a common feeling for all of us. Even the person you believe is so confident and self reliant has doubts at times. But what they may actually have most of the time is self-trust. They know how to get centered, grounded, to slip into that Divine core that lies in each of us.

If you are having doubts about something in your life today ask yourself, why the doubts? What is really going on in your brain? Do you have a sense of discernment? Maybe you need to call someone who does have a sense of discernment and listen. And maybe you need to take some quiet time and listen again, and as my dear friend Vicky says, “with the heart of a child”.

With Love, Joan