I love to hear people’s stories, and I love to tell a good story. So. I have decided every now and then I will tell you one of my own stories that have occured in my life. Why don’t you grab up a cup of tea, pull up a comfy chair, and sit and read? This one will make you laugh. :O)

Several years ago, somewhere around 2005, I was working as a hospice nurse. I would often get lost in my car as I was driving to a new patient’s home. I can honestly tell you I was a great nurse, but I was also directionally or navigationally, challenged. Big time. Still am some time. :O) I do believe GPS, Global Positioning System, was available for your cell phone, but it had not yet arrived in my universe. I had not embraced this option and was still calling ahead to ask directions from my patient’s family. Or sometimes I would call the office and a co-worker who knew the area would tell me the best way to travel to my destination.

On this particular afternoon I had left a message for Trevor, who worked in the hospice office to please call me, I needed directions. He must of been very busy because no call back was returned and after five minutes I knew I needed to get where I was going to help this patient. So I called her home and spoke with her husband. He gave me clear directions and I arrived ten minutes later.

Now picture in your mind a very small apartment. I mean, very small, like a huge mansion for a tiny elf, but for humans, barely enough room to walk around. Imagine yourself stepping through the front door, into the kitchen and living room that is one open room, around ten feet wide and twenty-four feet long. It’s a narrow rectangle that contains one couch up against the wall, and an end table with a lamp on it in the living room quarters. A large, square window is located on the exterior wall. My female patient, Sally, was sitting on the couch next to her daughter, and her husband, Fred, remained standing. I remain standing, too. I smile and introduce myself.

“Hi! I’m Joan the Nurse.”

And after introductions are made all around and I have identified my patient I explain to Sally and her family I am here to flush her port. Now if you have never seen an IV port picture a round button device that has been surgically placed under the skin on the upper chest and threads through the subclavian vein below the collarbone. This port is used for IV medications and gives access for lab blood draws. If not in regular use, then each month an IV flush is administered to keep the port patent or open.

“Sally, are you having any pain? You’re comfortable?” I ask.

“Yes,” and she smiles at me. “And I’ve had my port flushed many times.”

I am smiling back at her when suddenly my phone rings.

“I bet that’s my co-worker calling me to give me directions. Hold on just a minute.”

I do not check the caller ID on my phone because now I have spotted a beautiful, red Cardinal bird sitting in a tree right outside the window. I allow that bird to distract me. But, hey! I’ve already been working eight hours, I’m a little tired, and sometimes I need to take a deep breath to help me feel refreshed, and then I get back to work! So as I watch that colorful bird I’m pulling up the calm in me and I speak into my cell phone.

“Hi, Trevor! Thanks for calling me back. But no worries. I am already here at my patient’s home.”

There is silence from the other end for a few seconds. “Trevor?” I say, “Are you there? Trevor?”

Then I hear a deep male voice reply, “Uh, this is not Trevor.”

“Oh! Really? Who is this please?”

“Turn around,” the voice says.

I turn around as instructed and there is Fred holding his phone to his mouth, looking at me. My eyes I am sure open wide in surprise. I hear Sally and her daughter giggling. They are only two feet from me, still sitting on the couch.

“How did that happen?” I ask.

“Probably a butt call,” reples Fred. “My phone was in my pocket and then I heard your voice coming through.”

I look at him, his face all serious, studying me intently. I feel my own face flushing red and hot from embarrassment. I wish the floor would open up and swallow me whole in this tiny place.

“Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. I should have looked at my phone. I was looking at that Cardinal out there…”

Fred grins at me then. “Yeah, we like to watch the birds, too.”

Sally pats the cushion on the couch and smiles at me again.

“I’m ready if you are Joan the Nurse, to flush this port.”

Oh, the grace given to me by my patients and families! This beautiful Lady was telling me she still trusted me to be a professional, knowledgeable nurse. Once again I smile back at her.

“O.K.!” I say. I reach for my backpack hanging over my right shoulder and set it on the end table.

But wait! Wait! This story is not over Dear Reader. Oh no! I am not done embarrassing myself. So stay tuned. I shall continue my story next week. I promise! :O)