My whole body was tingling with anticipation! He leaned me back and smiled at me, and I smiled too, so very happy, my gaze resting on his familiar countenance. Then I noticed his gorgeous blue eyes moving with intent, traveling down my face and landing on my mouth. My lips. He tilted me back a little more and leaned into me. I felt my body beginning to respond, my breasts…

I’m messing with you Dear Reader. A girl has to have a little fun sometimes. Maybe you are thinking a little romance writing is waiting to be read? One day you WILL see some romance writing from me when I complete my novel I am working on about Jean the Nurse. A funny, lovable, compassionate, sixty-two year young nurse who still loves romance! An adventuress who helps save a teenage girl from sex trafficking. But that’s all I can say for now. I can’t give the whole story away!

But, back to the real story. Last week I went down to the University of Louisville School of Dentistry. I am participating in a dental treatment called Invisalign, which are plastic aligners that straighten your teeth. And I was filled with anticipation because my top teeth are in the process of once again moving back into a straighter alignment since my lower teeth were removed two years ago. It is all so exciting for me, and I love to go to the dentist and take care of my teeth. I feel as if I have some control over my own anatomy related to my mouth, versus the journey I took with tongue cancer and I had so very little control. And oh! Now that I think about it, my dentist has dark brown eyes. It is my darling Man, Alan, who has the gorgeous blue eyes. :O)

My dentist did lean me back in the dental chair, way back, hyperextending me beyond lying flat, more like a flat line at an angle. But I wasn’t quite ready. I felt an old, familiar, quiet panic set up inside my throat, and felt my chest begin to tighten. Immediately my mouth was totally dry and it was difficult to swallow. And I knew I should have been prepared. Those of us that have survived tongue cancer know from experience that surgery on the tongue will most likely affect the sublingual salivary glands, which are located below the tongue. These glands have eight to twenty ducts that saliva excretes from, and after surgery they are highly prolific, producing lots of saliva. Sometimes. Other times, like lying back flat, secretions may dry up immediately. And I mean immediately.

From my own experience my saliva has become much more manageable over time. I have an awareness about this process going on in my mouth most of the time. But because a nerve was cut on the right side of my tongue due to the location of the cancer, my tongue wants to lie to the right side of my mouth, especially if I do not have my lower dentures in place. In order for my dentist to assess my teeth I have to take my dentures out and place them on the low table next to the chair. So there I am, lying back, my mouth dry, my tongue not positioned well enough to feel comfortable swallowing, and I begin to panic. A little. Well, maybe a little more than a little. Then just when I thought, “I’m going to have to use these strong ab muscles of mine, (thank God for swimming!) and sit up. I can’t do this!”, well, my old, spiritual, holistic practice kicked in. It is a practice I want so very much to share with others when my book, Can You Understand Me? A Hospice Nurse’s Own Journey with Tongue Cancer, is published in the near future and available to read. So that’s what I did. I began to pray for others, for all Beings, for their Highest Good, for world peace, for my darling man and other beloved family members and friends, for all the abundance in my own life, and the gratitude filling me up. It was as if an automatic message was sent to my brain, an old habit from when I was bolted down to that radiation table for radiation treatments to my tongue and neck. And you know, it worked! I settled right down. I allowed my competent dentist to work on my upper teeth for about ten minutes, and the whole time I could deal with my dry salivary glands and my rebellious tongue trying to flip-flop around in that dry cavity called a mouth.

I thank you for letting me share with you my “praying for others” practice. I believe it can benefit anyone who tries it in a situation that feels a little compromised, or scary, or uncomfortable. And I take it beyond these times. It is wonderful to pray for others on a “Happy Day”, as my old friend Dr. Bill used to say. You don’t have to wait till the challenging times come to you. It’s a fantastic way to feel grounded, and to feel connected to others.

And thanks for letting me practice a love scene. Jean the Nurse appreciates it too, as she will want you to feel her passion as she is falling in love with a darling man… Who doesn’t want a little romance in their life? :O)

c   Love, Joan